Chile - Day One

September 17, 2012

Oh Chilean Independence Day, I did not ever intend to be graced with your presence in my lifetime. But here we are, comfortably situated in Valparaiso currently listening to some crazy Chileans playing a mix of what one would find to be typical country Latin dance tunes to 80s remakes to hard metal that cannot be stated as anything but noise pollution. But after spending about 27 hours door-to-door from San Francisco to Valparaiso, it is safe to say that we’ll take it.

My adventure did not really start until we arrived in Santiago. Our SFO to Toronto leg was nothing but efficient and easy-going – in addition, upon arrival I got to check the NFL scores to see the 49ers up in the third quarter. Our Toronto to Santiago leg was 12 hours of good conversation with my Colombian neighbor Andres mixed in with a couple movies – one denouncing Dole’s treatment of Nicaraguan banana workers and the other being the great discussion of the US-Mexico border war depicted in none other than “Traffic”. If that movie was in my top 25% of movies, it got raised into my top 3% after getting an additional 140 minutes to concentrate and absorb it. While Patty enjoyed the comforts of business class, I got to discuss global economic issues with Andres, the awesomeness that is the Spanish language (and my own insecurity that I can’t speak it very well), NAFTA and free trade, the upcoming 2012 election, and of course the Oil & Gas industry in Calgary given that he works for an Energy Consulting firm in the great hometown of the Flames of the NHL. Normal conversation you have with a neighbor? Maybe not, but it was awesome. We took each other’s information and I told him to give me a call when he visits San Francisco with his Colombian wife whom he has known since he was 15. You can learn a lot about a man’s life while sitting together for 12 hours in economy class.

But oh Santiago International Airport - how I fell out of love with your rental car agencies. My first piece of advice to my friends would be to never rent a car from Alamo in the great nation of Chile. Perhaps it was just the Santiago airport, but my feeling is that you have much better options. Call me a demanding American, but why don’t we tell the story quickly and move forward (in synoposis form):

After 25 minutes processing the transaction, we figure out what car we had as part of our itinerary (which was a mid-size sedan we requested online), we walk outside to discover the following: “No, we want a mid-size sedan, NOT a mid-size SUV (which they gave us and which we did not see on our final transaction sheet).” Says the Alamo rep at the parking lot, “Oh, you need to go back inside to get it changed, we can’t do it out here.” So we walk back in, wait a few minutes (a bit perturbed), and request what we always intended to receive: a mid-size sedan. Patty, speaking in her fluent/native Spanish, tried multiple times to make that clear to the Alamo rep who decided to seemingly go in circles on purpose as to why the price was the same (bullshit asshole – not in America and not in Chile!!) and after 15 minutes, it is stated that we would have to start a whole new transaction if we wanted a different price. Okay, we are tired and pissed off, just give us the fucking car and we’ll get this straight with corporate because you are a straight up fucking clown who probably does this to most foreign tourists. Or, we are just impatient Americans in conjunction to this whole fiasco. Soooooo…..outside we go and after waiting for 20 minutes more (tick tock tick tock….what are they doing???), we get our car. And after we pack our luggage into the trunk, sit down, and start the engine, we discover that IT IS A STICK SHIFT!!!! WE CAN’T DRIVE A STICK SHIFT!!! This is followed by Patty with her face in her hands and me eloquently screaming at the top of my lungs, “F***!!!!”. I then quickly stepped out and walked back toward the rental car agency, saw a very kickable pylon, made sure the pylon I was about to kick was not going to break my foot, violently kicked the plastic pylon, and looked forward to dealing with these pricks one more time. Yes, this happened. After 8 minutes in line, “We don’t have anymore automatics.” Ask another, “We don’t have anymore cars.” Ask a few other reps, “No automatics”. Then one happy looking (sarcasm here) rep said we could rent a RAV 4 for the low price….of $158/day (over double the price of the original mid-size SUV we incorrectly received). “No thanks”. Then we discover the one seemingly decent human being behind these rental counters at the Rosselot stand. He said he would have an automatic mid-size at 2pm if the woman who requested it for 8am pickup did not arrive (by law, they can release it six hours after the car is not picked up). It was 1:20 local. We looked at a bus option, a car service cost, and we had our options laid out. Bus service was a no-go since it was a holiday and tickets were sold out, but it was the Rosselot car or a car service to Valparaiso (75-100 minutes drive) for $180 USD. Wait….wait…get asked for the 33rd time for a taxi or car service that I did not want….wait….wait…. “no, I will pass on paying $70 for a ride to Valparaiso with your off the radar car service.” (After 12 years in San Francisco? Sorry, don’t trust ‘em, and not in Chile when it is my first time either). 2pm comes around, CAR IS AVAILABLE!!! Go through transaction….(just get the car….)…..outside to the parking lot…..OFF WE GO!!! Maybe not as concise as I intended, but safe to say that Patty and I enjoyed a few high fives, kisses, and fist pounds after that ordeal. Only spent 4 hours in the airport after arrival – TOTALLY NORMAL!!!

The ride to Valparaiso was a nice one – a few crazy drivers, a few dudes with trucks filled to the brim that maybe should not have been on the road, a handful of pedestrians and bikers on freeways with speed limits up to 120km/hr (which would not fly in the ‘ol U.S. of A), but overall quite pleasant. You can see the countryside is not as seemingly wealthy as the cities nor as wealthy as a first world country, but it feels safe. The people seem to live simply but not in deep poverty, but of course it was based on observation and I could be totally off. I’ll have to investigate further. The wineries we spotted along the way apparently have been a steady and growing business over the past decade in this region of Chile. This I’ll have to read up on to clarify, but it is certainly a steady business in this region of the world – no doubt about it. You could see them dotted along Route 68 almost the entire way to Valparaiso. What did create some chaos was driving in Valparaiso itself. And yes, safe to say that we got lost. About 8 km lost, which rarely happens to me but even it can occur to the best of us. Thanks to a little GPS support via Patty’s I-phone, we got back on track, cutting through Vina Del Mar (Uno Norte Road), riding on streets along the water toward Valparaiso, and then….our left turn stated on the GPS is not there??? Shit….here we go. “Okay Patty, turn left here”….through an open plaza (cars are legal, don’t worry), “Turn left again”….”You are okay, they stopped…GO!”….”Keep going straight babe….yep, keep going straight….Is this a one way….This guy is coming toward us….okay…um….turn right here….” It was a two-way, but what you discover is that the lanes, while very narrow, are indeed two-ways. After parking post right-turn down the side street, it was time to get our bearings after what was perhaps one of the most stressful driving scenarios that either Patty or myself have ever dealt with. Driving in a foreign country with what were incredibly narrow streets, limited street signs, and maybe 3 hours of sleep at best is not a good concoction for deep relaxation. But we grabbed ourselves by the haunches and got our bearings again (for what seemed like the 13th time on this day), and it was on again. “Turn left here…wrap around the bend here….okay…is it a one-way? No one is coming?” Patty: “I’m going up it.” Me: “Okay!” Me: “Keep going…honk your horn just in case to let ‘em know you’re coming….(honking….honking)…..yep…yep…that’s it…okay, now we’re in the plaza…keep going…okay, veer toward THAT street….keep going….keep going…..okay, wrap around, this should run us into the hotel……yep, there it is….where should we park…” Patty: “There’s a spot!” (turn-around on a narrow street….wait for car to pass….). Car parked. Ring bell. Fence opens. Walk up 50 steps (or so), pleasant greetings, nice hosts, small talk about driving in Valparaiso, great talk about the area, look at the city map together, discuss a few good restaurants nearby, drop off luggage, get luggage out of car, drop off luggage. We are here, safe and sound, comfortable, friendly hosts, 5 stars most likely for the Sutherland House on all the hotel websites for night number one.

Next time: restaurant experience, first night of sleep after day one, Valparaiso discoveries, and a little bit of this and that.